dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
