Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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