My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
