i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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