At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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