I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize