wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize