Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
