I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
