You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
