I bet he comes in French.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
