Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
