i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
