I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
