Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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