I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize