I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
