oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
