I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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