Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
