I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize