I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
