Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
