You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's shark week go big or go home
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize