So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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