Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize