We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
