Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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