I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
