I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
