If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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