Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
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we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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