dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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