I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
