To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
