why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
