You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
