420 ftw
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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