I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
