Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize