She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I touched a dick in church today
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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