I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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