woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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