Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
