i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
