i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
