hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
