Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
