Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
this hospital has no fireball
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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