I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
