I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
