Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have tasted many bathrooms
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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