i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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