My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
