Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
