Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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