Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
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Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
