Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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