I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
