don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
