mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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