Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want to have your abortion
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
