You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
