I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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