That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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