he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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