i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
