The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
